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Why We Look Away: Eye contact, distraction, and the loss of depth.
Real eye contact feels rare now. Not absent, just quietly avoided. We still glance at each other, enough to register a face, not enough to stay. Long enough to be polite. Not long enough to be changed.
Tom Kooy
Jan 1812 min read


The Psychology of Desire in an Attention-Starved World
Desire is one of the few human experiences not fully domesticated by modern life. It is still alive to sensation, responsive and awake to those moments when time seems to slow.
Tom Kooy
Jan 75 min read


Present Joy Is a Practice: On First Principles and Lasting Habits for 2026.
And in this pause, once the food is eaten, the drinks are finished, the conversations had, what’s real tends to hold its shape. And what was being held together by adrenaline, distraction, or sheer momentum starts to crack. That’s not failure. That is data to use. We tend to treat this moment as a time to set goals for the year to come. Outcomes. Targets. Resolutions. What do I want to achieve in 2026?
Tom Kooy
Dec 28, 20257 min read


From Boardrooms to Pulpits and Back Again: Why I Walked Away...
I’ve never written about my time in the church until now, and that was deliberate. Not because I was afraid of the story, and not because there was nothing to say, but because I didn’t want to write from inside the emotion of it.
Tom Kooy
Dec 19, 202515 min read


Slaying Beasts: The Quiet Battle Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be.
There comes a moment in every life where the beast standing in front of you stops being poetic language and becomes painfully literal.
Tom Kooy
Dec 5, 20259 min read


Why Masculinity Isn’t Broken, Just Untrained...
Something is breaking inside the modern man, and he knows it. It’s not dramatic. It’s quiet.
Tom Kooy
Nov 10, 202510 min read


When Life Breaks You, Here's What You Do Next...
This is life. It’s not a motivational poster. It’s not always progress or peace. It’s messy, unfair, and sometimes deeply cruel. It doesn’t care how hard you’ve worked or how much you’ve sacrificed.
Tom Kooy
Aug 2, 202510 min read


We Never Waste Time. Our Narrative Just Changed
I have had a few people say they feel like they've wasted parts of their life recently. This is a topic I have been dying to tackle!
Tom Kooy
Apr 1, 20254 min read


Unleash Yourself: The Cost of Playing Small & The Power of Breaking Free
It's 2:45am, you wake up, you are frustrated by your life's choices, you are thinking is this all there is? You are lying if you haven't...
Tom Kooy
Mar 12, 20256 min read


The Seasons of Life and Business: Navigating Change, Pain, and Perseverance
Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn’t make it. We made it! We are here.
Tom Kooy
Feb 25, 20255 min read


Smash Mediocrity: Build a High-Performance Culture That Transforms Denmark.
Mediocrity. To settle halfway up a difficult mountain.
A negotiation between a drive to excel & the biological urge for comfort.
Tom Kooy
Oct 30, 20246 min read


“Grab a plate. Now break it on the floor. Now tell it you’re sorry. Is it fixed? No? Now you understand.”
Maybe you have heard of this broken plate analogy before? It gives us a simple yet, I believe, a profound way to understand the lasting...
Tom Kooy
Oct 17, 20244 min read


Dare to Venture Beyond? Risk-Taking in Business & Life.
It is often the case that people think successful outcomes and successful people just happen perfectly. That's not how it works...
Tom Kooy
Sep 27, 20245 min read
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